Guest Series: Mental Health & Creativity. Thoughts on my Anxiety by Book Blogger Jen

Hello everyone, it is time for another guest post in the guest series: mental health & creativity. Today, we have another brave individual who has decided to share her story. I relate so much to a lot of the points that she makes and she is definitely not alone. I will leave her links below so feel free to check her out. She is a wonderful book blogger. So, here is Jen's story.

Thoughts on my anxiety.

How much can you blame anxiety for? Can I blame it for the lack of writing I’ve done over the years? Or more accurately, that all I have to show for my ambition is many unfinished stories and novels. Someone could say that I was lazy. I could blame an over enthusiastic inner critic or a lack of self belief. But when anxiety and worry creeps into your mind you can’t concentrate on anything else. You can’t switch off and get into your story world and even when it eases, your mind is so tired that trying to do anything actually makes you feel anxious again. In the past it has been bad, I think it’s better now although some days when it comes back it feels like this is a lie and that I haven’t managed to deal with my anxiety at all. (When it comes back, I’ve just realised what I wrote, it never goes away, it’s there daily but I’m so used to it and there are times when it’s very bad.)

Mental Health: Being in the Now

I was recently feeling down and slightly anxious when a couple of people in my life reminded me that I need to focus on the now. I have goals that range from medium-term (like being able to go to the gym) to long-term (like getting my dream home) and sometimes the fact that these are so far away and seem almost unattainable can trigger my mental health to dip. So, I made a list of all the things that I can focus on in the now and hopefully whilst I am focusing on these things, I will reach my goals. Here is my list:

Blogging

My current read

Current game/s that I am playing

Walking

My book club

Spending time with loved ones

Creative writing which includes poetry, short stories and novel writing

It can be so difficult to focus on the now but I am going to keep looking at my list and reminding myself that this is what I need to be doing. Hopefully, everything else will fall into place. What is on your now list?

All of the Books on my TBR

This is probably one of the most difficult blog posts for a book blogger to display but I am not perfect. I am on a journey to read all of the amazing books out there: to explore new worlds, characters and plots and to hopefully improve my writing skills along the way. I have categorised all of my unread books by genre. So, here is a list of all of the unread books that I currently own:

Manga

Blue Exorcist volume 3 by Kazue Kato

Fullmetal Alchemist volumes 5 and 6 by Hiromu Arakawa

Fairy Tail volumes 1 & 2 by Hiro Mashima

One Piece volumes 1-3 by Eiichiro Oda

Tegami Bachi volumes 1-5 by Hiroyuki Asada

Seraph of the End volume 1 written by Takaya Kagami and illustrated by Yamato Yamamato

All You Need Is Kill written by Hiroshi Sakurazaka with illustrations by Yoshitoshi ABe

Tokyo Mew Mew volumes 1-6 written by Reiko Yoshida and illustrated by Mia Ikumi

Death Note Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases by Nisio Isin (a novel based on the manga)

My Stomach Hurts: Living with IBS

Alongside my mental health conditions, I also have IBS. IBS is a digestive condition which can be related to anxiety and depression. It can also be caused by eating certain foods that your body does not agree with, these are called triggers. IBS produces a variety of symptoms, including stomach pain. There are times when IBS symptoms can become worse, these are called flares. My IBS can flare when I’m stressed or anxious. I wanted to talk about this because lately my stomach has been hurting a lot. If you have any symptoms, please visit your doctor.

Sometimes, it feels like having a constant stomach bug. Other times, like continuous cramps. I don’t always have symptoms but I do usually get them after meals, especially dinner and when I’m trying to sleep. When I flare, I can feel ill all of the time, or most of it.

Feeling ill makes it difficult to do things sometimes. It makes me anxious about eating out in case I get symptoms. I have to take painkillers and IBS medication with me when I go out to see friends. Sometimes, it’s fine and does not really bother me. Other times, it’s just horrible. However, I know that there are worse things and I love my life, I feel very grateful for everything I have and I know that not feeling very well will pass. I know that if I keep doing things that make me anxious and try to work on improving my mental health, things will get better, even if I feel 1% better for a little while, it will still be worth it.

My current mental health plan is to try to get into exercising more regularly and I will be posting updates on here about my progress. I am also trying to relax more and that includes blogging, potentially as a job. I am so glad that I started this blog and I am so thankful for all of the interaction that I have received from other people so far.

Do you have IBS? How do you deal with it?