In 2018, I wrote an article for Lucy Turns Pages on
Writing
About Mental Health and Cancer Survivorship. In it, I talked about
my diagnosis of colon cancer in 2010, the effect that has had on my mental
health and how writing helps me work through these things. Fear of recurrence
means that I’m often wondering if the cancer will come back and if I’ll need to
continue to use writing as therapy in this way – and a couple of years ago,
that’s what happened.
In 2018, I was diagnosed with duodenal cancer and uterine
cancer, both within two days of each other. I had a hysterectomy in September
2018 for the uterine cancer and Whipple surgery in November for the duodenal
cancer. Whipple surgery is a big surgery that involved removing the duodenum
(part of the small intestine); the head of the pancreas; the bile duct; and the
gall bladder. The operation took eight hours and I was in the high dependency
unit for two days and in hospital for a total of ten days. My hysterectomy
means my partner and I are unable to have biological children, so cancer has
been emotionally difficult again in new ways.
But once again, writing has helped me. Firstly, it’s helped
because I decided to do my PhD on how creative writing can help cancer
survivors to cope with emotional issues. I’m now in the second year of my PhD
and I’m enjoying it a lot. My studies have given me a new and exciting purpose,
bringing meaning to my cancer experiences.
Secondly, in 2019 I began writing my memoir and now that
book has been published! Gut Feelings: Coping With Cancer and Living With
Lynch Syndrome spans the time from my first diagnosis in 2010 to recovering
from my surgeries in 2018. It covers not just the physical and medical aspects,
but commentary on the effects and how cancer survivors can practice self-care.
My memoir was very difficult to write because it meant
revisiting hospital experiences and memories of illness that are very hard for
me to think about. However, it was also useful to write as it helped me to
organise my thoughts and place the experience in a self-contained book. I aimed
to make the book true to what happened, not just in terms of illness but other
things that happened in between, like my travels and other new experiences. I
also tried to make the book funny, so you’ll spot my dark humour in there a
little. But most of all, I wanted the book to be an empathetic read for other
cancer survivors or those at the beginning of their experience, to help them
know they are not alone. Because of this, I want to reach as many people as
possible who may benefit from reading about what has happened to me.
The reason why I’ve had cancer three times is because I have
Lynch syndrome, which is a genetic condition that makes it more likely for
people to get certain types of cancer. This also features heavily in the book,
alongside colon cancer, womb cancer, having a colostomy bag and then an
internal pouch, and of course, the mental health issues surrounding cancer
survivorship. I hope anyone who can relate to any of those things, or is a
caregiver or relative of someone experiencing any of those things, will get
something out of this book.
If you are reading this and you would like to talk to
someone about your own cancer experiences, please feel free to reach out to me.
I’m on Twitter at @writersamr and my website is https://www.writersam.co.uk.
My memoir, Gut Feelings: Coping With Cancer and Living
With Lynch Syndrome, is
available on Amazon.
