For a long time I have been dealing with fatigue and dizziness. I would wake up still tired, not feeling refreshed or rested at all. I would struggle with work and when I came home I would just be too tired to do anything. I've also been dealing with costochondritis for years which is inflammation that causes pain in the ribs and chest area.
This year, I began having pain in different areas of my body that would be intense and last a long time and then re-occur. It got to a point where my body just couldn't function anymore.
For months, I have been dealing with pain, aches and stiffness all over my body, fatigue, migraines, headaches and dizziness that has been so debilitating that I am unable to do things that I used to do.
My symptoms fluctuate within the day and from day to day so I will have periods where the fatigue is more prevalent or a migraine or body pain.
I'm on medication to help with the symptoms but it doesn't take them away or make them a lot better. It just means that I have less times of being in agonising pain where I want to cry but can't because I'm in so much pain.
I'm waiting to see a specialist so that I can get a diagnosis and effective treatment.
The future feels so unknown to me right now because I don't know how much better I will get and what I will or won't be able to manage, which isn't great when you already have anxiety. But each day I am trying not to let my anxiety take over my day and to try to have a positive mindset. To focus on what I can do and not what I can't. To celebrate allowing myself to rest without feeling bad about it. Because I literally can't do things like I used to do. There are limitations. Depending on how I feel, I can do small tasks but the more I do, the worse I seem to feel later on.
I'm getting better at pacing, a technique that some people with chronic illness use where you rest between activities and don't give yourself too much to do. It's hard because I want to be able to do a lot of things but I just can't. Activities I can do can make my symptoms worse, especially when it involves something physical. Similarly, I have a lot of times where I feel like I can't think.
Living with chronic symptoms isn't easy. Especially when society conditions you to be a working, productive person and doesn't include those who simply cannot. I pushed my body for so long that it just couldn't anymore.
If you deal with chronic symptoms, please feel free to DM me on Twitter. If you would be interested in writing a guest post for my blog please email me at lucyisreading@gmail.com.
I hope this post helps.
Lucy~
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